The Pee Poo woes of a traveller

Time is of the essence, your stuff can attain its long awaited freedom any moment and you are frantically digging a hole in the wilderness of the Himalayas for your crap to rest in peace. Whether or not you make it in time, this is definitely going to make an amazing YouTube video. I am going to share with you many other convenient ways to offload. However, if you feel shy on reading this just remember that you extracted all the nutrients and now you are letting go off the residue. Let’s give it an honorable farewell.

All that being said, digging a hole and having your way isn’t something wrong. It is still the most widely used way by travellers, especially hikers to relieve themselves.
Tip 1: Find a Public Toilet
In most countries, there are public toilets available in shopping malls. In USA especially, you will find a wash room in every gas station and grocery store next to the freeways. They are spiky clean and in some of them you can even relax on a couch after you are done. In most European countries there are mobile toilets on streets for both men and women. However, never run out of cash while travelling. There is nothing worse than standing in front of a public toilet in a train station and not having that $1 needed to go in.
Tip 2: The Female Urinary Device
What? Really? Well, there are people with all sorts of ideas. Men have always treated this whole world as their urinal; however the going gets tough for a woman for obvious reasons. Thankfully, there are these funnel-like contraption devices available which let a female take a leak standing up. Brands like ‘P-Mate’, ‘Whizzy’ and ‘T-Pee’ make these disposable devices out of either plastic or paper. A pack of 5 comes for $4 and 12 for $8. However, if beer is your weakness there is a pack of 100 available for $62. ‘Go-Girl’ has come up with a reusable version of the same device. It is made of medical-grade silicone and can be re-used up to three times. Now, whether in the mountains or in a city, even a woman can travel around just like a free bird. However, while you are taking a leak, a casual passer-by may get freaked out if he thinks you are a, you know what. Just chill, you are not going to marry him anyways neither is he going to see you again.
Tip 3: Pee Poo Bags
Pee Poo bags is an equally amazing invention if not greater than the contraption devices I just shared about. Invented by a Swedish scientist, a Pee Poo bag is a personal, single-use, self-sanitising, fully biodegradable toilet that prevents your crap from contaminating the immediate area. After use, Pee Poo turns into a valuable fertilizer that can improve livelihood and increase food security. It is actually a bag, similar to those kept in flights for air-borne sickness. A drawback with them is that, presently they are available only in few countries around the world like Bangladesh, South Africa, Kenya, Sweden, New Zealand and some other remote islands where people do not have access to hygienic toilets. If you are travelling to one of these countries find yourself a Pee Poo bag irrespective of whether you are a city walker or a trekker. Go to the internet.
Tip 4: Check out the buses and trains before you book
You may want to check out whether a loo is available in a train or bus you are booking. There are pretty clean toilets available in buses as well as trains all around Europe and America. However, don’t take that as the truth. There are still many bus services which do not have these facilities. Imagine going from London to Edinburgh in such a bus non-stop. I did it and almost fainted by the time I got down in Edinburgh and found myself a loo.
P.S. Please carry a cheap deo as well which you are not going to use anyways. On my way from Calais to Amsterdam in bus, a passenger went to relieve herself after which the whole bus stank like, you know, Shit. Thank god I had this deo which I sprayed all around generously and collected a lot of thanks from other passengers.

Tip 5: Be bold

Knock on someone’s door and beg for them to use their toilet. Or if you are in a train station and don’t have money, just go inside that public loo and request the attendant to let you use it. I am sure he will understand the situation. $1 isn’t going to jeopardize their annual targets after all.
Lastly, let’s talk about that moment when the space shuttle Columbus is about to launch and your senses stop working. Everything slows down and you can’t hear the people around you. You can’t even see a street marker pointing to a public toilet next block. Just pull down your pants and get yourself done with it wherever you are. No one is that big a pervert to ogle at you while you are doing it. However, make sure you catch the next flight out of that city.

Gaurav Bhatnagar
Gaurav Bhatnagar
Travel Writer, Photographer, Public Speaker, Entrepreneur @ www.thefolktales.com

4 thoughts on “The Pee Poo woes of a traveller

  1. Someone had to write about it! I invested in a few 'go-girl's before I left. Glad to come across your page. Happy travels 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.